I’M IN A CRABBY MOOD… hurrr hurr…

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REVENGE IS MINE!!!, originally uploaded by jolinjojobeans.

I’m not in a crabby mood but I cannot resist puns. Quite duh like that.
Was down on Long Beach Island last weekend and had deathlike cravings for crab. Good thing we were by the shore ( …… ) so we stopped by Pinky’s, a seafood shack that sells fresh seafood and you can order it cooked too. fabulous!

I picked the snowcrab (see above photo) which had legs longer than Gisele’s. If I were to make a list of all the pleasure in life, picking at crab would make it into the top 10. All conversation must cease during this sacred act. The world stops exisiting when I consume this delectable crustacean… mmm …yum… it’s life finally made meaningful.

This weekend there’s a Chili Crab festival down in Brooklyn. Contemplating wheter or not to go. Already my schedules quite packed and Brooklyn IS a pain in the butt to get to. but oooooh…. chili crabs….. *drools on keyboard*

I made steamed crabs once at my apartment. Total disaster. Live crab started crawling out of my sink as I gave it a bath (to wash mud off) and my old roommate and I were screaming and hopping around and throwing the cleaver at the crawly beast. Then when I finally caught it, we had to bear the noise of it’s clawing to its death in the steamer pot. What a nightmare ! Will only eat crabs at restaurants from now on.

Life begins

My good friend Ah Diao (name changed to protect the innocent) sent me an article the other day by Iain Hollingshead of The Daily Telegraph. It was about the transition of student life into Real World life. Rang true for me especially now when I’m trying to sort out the whole 401K plan, health insurance, savings accounts, lease agreements and all that other paperwork that I have no idea where to start with. You should have seen me 6 months ago when I was trying to navigate the credit history system. In the United States, having a credit card is a NECESSITY, not a convenience. You build credit history using this credit card  and banks use it to determine whether to approve your loan request, landlords use it to decide if you are eligible for renting from them, and I hear some employers also refer to it before they offer you a job. There’s this secret manual on how to play the credit rating game and of course through college no one explained this to me and I have to figure it all out on my own. Brilliant system.

My point was, I found this article to be very relevant to my experiences in the Real World. here’s an excerpt:

“…But as a wizened 25-year-old, let me propose an alternative argument: life really begins when you
leave university with a degree you’ll never use, owe the Student Loans Company pounds 10,000
you can’t afford, join a graduate scheme you loathe and live in an expensive flat in some
godforsaken suburb of London (“because that’s where everyone is”) hoping you won’t get
mugged on the way home from the Tube.
Life, in fact, begins with a quarter-life crisis – which is much like a midlife crisis, only worse: it’s 20
years’ premature, no one gives you any sympathy and you’re too young, poor and insignificant to
buy a sports car and run off with your secretary…..Leaving university therefore feels like falling off a conveyor belt of non-stop academic landmarks
and launching in one fell swoop into the rest of your life. Farewell to brunches, Countdown and
dancing midweek to Abba in sweaty student clubs. Hello council taxes, daily commutes and
pension schemes. On the bright side, it’s only 50 years (or is it 60 now – it keeps on going up?)
until we can retire. Oh, good. “

How miserable! Yet so true ..

Here’s a toast to all of my fellow (not so)newly-grads. Keep up the good fight! we’ll be 40 some day and wish we were 25 again.

bad blogger

I’m really bad at this whole blogging thing aren’t I? I submit posts like once every two weeks. Didn’t start out with those intentions. It’s kinda like my gym membership. really hardcore in January and February but then it starts to taper off as my muscles start ripping through my seams.. oh sorry, that’s not me. I meant to write “…determination inevtiably wanes”.

Can I just say though that if only I had a pool to go to, I’d DEFINITELY exercize more (no? that claim has lost it’s credibility too huh? you know me too well). yeah… I’ve had access to pools the entire of last summer and yet I didn’t make any effort to go. What is it about human nature that compells us to rationalize our laziness? Whay can’t be DO more and TALK less? what a pack of bums.

……..

 Onto another issue.

…….

Introduced SigOther to Ali G last week. Ali G as always funny as ever. I cannot understand how SigOther still managed to fall asleep through bits of it. Ali G is funny as hell! But then again, SigOther always dozes off through movies we watch together. Begining to wonder if I have a boring effect on him. Maybe whenever he is within 3-foot radius of me, he instantly lapses into coma. Possibility….

I’m like that bald kid in XMen3. If you come too close you lose all your powers. yeaaah! *eyes light up* …except my power is to bore you to sleep. eh, I’ll take what i can get.

Anyway. Ali G. He came over to the US and made an American version of his talk show, with Borat, the flaming Eurotrash dude and whoever else. The American version really sucked. SigOther accidentally netflixed that instead of the Movie and was put-off by how lame the show was. I don’t blame him. What makes Ali-G tick is the reaction he gets from the stiff upper lipped Brits when he says outrageous things. The Americans all just played along or called him out on his obnoxiousness. That’s why you gotta love the polite Brits! they’re spanking adorable what!

*spanks imaginary British person*

Self-fulfilling prophecies, anyone?

My all time favorite song these days is 100 Years by Five for Fighting (whaaa??? that came out centuries ago!) What can I say, I’m slow about these things. I take my time appreciating songs, and this one struck me just right in this mood.

I’m learning to memorize the lyrics right now so the next time you see me at karaoke (the day after NEVER), request this number. I am comfortably singing at my cubicle since my neighbors all have their headphones on all day, perfect crowd to practice my vocals with.

There’s just something about it that resonates with my state of being right now. Every time I listen to it my insides go jelly on me. It’s not the video either because I relaly can’t recall what that was like ( it WAS too long ago)

I think maybe it’s got to do with my dreams lately. Okay, here’s a little info about me, I believe in dreams. I have very vivid dreams (and nightmares) and I believe that my inner conciousness is trying to reach out to me so I try and understand my dreams as much as possible.

Anyway, point is. I’ve been dreaming about dogs and children and water and last night, koala bears. yeah.. (at least they’re not nightmares) Well, according to the dream interpreter, they’re all signs that I’m feeling a “desire to regress back to a childlike dependece…free from duties and responsibilities.” I’d agree with that to some point.

I don’t know when I reached the turning point for this but a few weeks ago I started to feel more vested in my work. office work. This is not LIKE me. I don’t understand it, I’m usually very lepak about projects but lately I’ve become more concerned about project issues. I used to let my “boss” (for lack of a better word) worry about the details, I’d just execute his instructions. But now.. now I care about my say in it or how it’s done. What’s WRONG with me?!?!?!

Oh anyway, so off tangent. So the song. 100 years. I never read the lyrics entirely until 10 minutes ago. (I can sing a song for months without understanding the lyrics, sometimes I make up my own – Gay paradise, love in a parking lot…) But I took 2 minutes to READ what I was singing and realized that it reflected everything that my subconcious has been feeding into my dreams. How bizarre! Maybe THIS is why I’m dreaming of the stuff I do rather than my dreams unearthing my inner issues.

PRO BONO WORK

Part of my Internship Development Program (IDP) – the three year process we have to go through in order to start getting registered as a licensed architect – is to dedicate some 80 hours to community service. I vote to allow wardrobe makeovers to fulfil that requirement.

Some people really need serious work! Cringed as I passed by interiors intern today who looked like total J-Lo wannabe. She must not be aware that latino ho is sooo over.

Just as important as it is for architects, engineers, etc to refresh their skillz through continuing education, my service would be to brush up their dressup skillz! yeah, the more I think about it the more convinced I am that IDP must consent to this fantastic community service idea. Soup kitchens (ahem*) are all over the place. Plus, I might splatter some nasty tomato chowder on my Anna Sui.

Of course I’d tailor (oooh, notice how I cleverly used fashion pun! wow. I’m so cut out for this gig) the makeover to suit the subjects clothing needs and budget. I’m as pro-Target as anyone else. People just need some guidance to realize what works best for them and for some, how to pull off some looks that normally (without my keen eye) they would never dare to wear.

Okay. I think IDP (stuffy codgers that they are) will never grasp the brilliance of my probono work but here, I am offering to perform a wardrobe makeover for anyone who wants one. All I ask is that you come to me with an open mind and a reasonable budget . I can’t perform miracles but I promise you, no one will think you look like an outdated J-Lo.

Must Love Dogs

There’s something about mushy romantic movies that make me just crumbly and jellyfishy inside. awwww. And really, John Cusack is like the HUGH GRANT of America. No matter how old he gets he always plays the lovelorn romantic fop. In “Must Love Dogs” he reprises his character in Serendipity, High Fidelity, Say Anything, Better Off Dead,etcera etcetera. We just can’t seem to get enough of him as the ideal neurotic romantic boyfriend. And who could say no to those puppy dog eyes. awwwww *heart crumbles to mush*

But that aside, the movie struck close to home cos it dealt with internet dating, a topic which (surprise!) I have actually dabbled with. I know, I know.. why would someone as dazzling as myself need to rely on the internet to find a guy? A question I’ve posed to myself many a time.

But let’s forget that for awhile, this short phase of my life laster a good oh… 2 weeks of online posting and 2 months of “follow up” – the stage past the initial coffee and smalltalk aka confirmation that you’re not a serial killer.

 Oh if I could publish some of the responses I got. What a crazy bunch of men there are out there with deluded ideas about what they think impress women. yeah, there were a lot of creepozoids. I sifted through the lot and met up with about 4-5 of them. A couple had potential but there was just no chemistry to keep it going. Let me tell you, girls: they might have ALL the right paperwork – law degree, medical resident, runs own company, upstanding family, loads of friends, wading in cash, drives snazzy automobile, widely traveled – but if there’s just no chemistry, it will never happen. sorry.

Among the traits I picked up on though, gotta say that 1) lawyers/law students are preety much the arrogant ****** that they’re stereotyped to be and 2) med students are the sweetest things and they have not one mena bone in their body. Which unfortunately was bad for me because I need someone who undestands the evil side of Jojo. Too bad. But if any of you out there are contemplating between the two, go for the doctor!

Anyway, long story short. Internet dating was QUITE the experience. very glad that nothing untoward came of it, was lucky in that sense.

It definitely works in terms of MEETING new people because really, our circle of friends is usually limited by the place we study or work. And this way you eliminate the people who aren’t interested in dating you. Pretty nifty!Your success rate is comparable to meeting and dating people the old fashioned way ( art galleries and museums, yeah right….)

it didn’t work for me but it could for you!

BAD DAAAAYYYY!!!

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DSCN4207, originally uploaded by jolinjojobeans.

Bad day! Bad DayBadDayBadDay!!!!! should have stayed in bed and not come out til tomorrow.

I should really know better than to rush ANYTHING out the door. sigh. so I woke up this morning, got ready ans was almost out the door when I saw some bills that were waiting for me over the weekend which I didn’t open. SIgOther’s constant admonitions about opening mail in a timely manner starts ringing in my head. I decide to be a good girl and take a few minutes to handle the mail issue. there’s a credit card bill that really, I have anoither 2 weeks to deal with. But procrastinations is the devil’s work so I angelically open mail, cut check to bank, sign, place in envelope and promptly leave envelope on table as I rush out the door. 3 blocks later I realize that dumbass me forgot check to post! great.. I run back to the apartment, grab envelope waddle to mailbox and quick drop in in. The moment I head the mailbox flap shut I realize that F*CK!!! i didn’t put any postage on it! strings of expletives roll from my tongue that would put truck drivers to shame.

That’s only the begining.

At the traffic light on the way to work who should I bump into but our “good” old friend the Big K. *groan*… he starts yapping away about some vacation or another and I purposely get into a longer line at the checkpoint (yes, it’s silly, we have scanners and screeners in our building . but for once I thank god that they exist) just to avoid getting into the same elevator as BK. mission accomplished. Now to only get to my desk without being further thwarted.

Kitchen is clear, I make my way there to get coffee. of course, there is none. i procees to make a pot. My “midas touch” inevitably creates the WORST pot of coffee ever tasted my man. Someone else brews another pot. Apparently this person has not heard of FILTERS before. coffee come out full of grinds. Sensing the world is against me, I pull out the white flag and nurse a mug of grounds-filled coffee back to my desk vowing never to poke my head out til Friday. Goodbye cruel world….

EVILZON!

Burgess Summer Camp 06, originally uploaded by jolinjojobeans.

 

Why do I keep getting screwed over by internet orders?!!!! remember a few posts ago when I ordered like 9 magazines by accident? Welcome to the sequel.

So, my dad called me up to buy him a nail gun today. ASAP. He’s got a project underway at home and they don’t ship to international addresses. Nail guns are not my favorite thing to shop around for so he just sends me the link on Amazon. I’m rushing out to lunch but since he needs it ASAP , being the wonderful daughter that i am i decide to quickly order it before 1pm so that it gets delivered by TOMORROW (whoosh whoosh – sounds effects of it being fast)

So klik-klik-klack-klick (keyboard noises) tippity tap fast and I’m at the checkout on Amazon. I double check address. yup. zip, zam ZAP! Click OK. OK. DONE!! I am genius!

oh.. wait..

why is my order so expensive?

OH SHIT! I paid for every damn thing on my Amazon wishlist. NOOOOOOO!!!!!

delete! delete! ESCAPE! Backspace!

nothing’s changing! Evilzon says that they’re processing INSTANT ORDER so nothing can be returned. NOOOOOO!!!! I don’t need a 300-year History book on Philadelphia anymore, I already read it at the free library! Give me my $35 back!!!!! What am I going to do with down-filled snowboard jacket in the summer? …In THREE colors!! aaaack!!!!

sigh… no choice but to wait now for items to be shipped in tomorrow. Apologized profusely to mailroom guy who has to deal with my shipments.

tricksy Evilzon….

they better not send me any magazines.

on another note : photo above was from last weekend at Lake garnet up in the Adirondacks. Most of yous woulda already got the full set of photos from this trip. Was a great time! Reminded me of my Outward Bound days. …except that there was beer pong instead of 6am three mile run. yeaaaaaa!!!!!

More on weekend at Adirondacks next.

Don’t ask. Don’t tell.

Americans waste a lot of time with the “Hi, how are you? I’m fine thank you, and you? Good, thanks for asking”. Now, you might not THINK that’s a long time but imagine walking down a corridor and you run into three people separately. Now imagine repeating that exchange over and over. THAT’S A LOT OF TIME!

 I have to maneuver through that at least 4-5 times in the morning before I get to my desk. First there’s the security guard on the corner. Smile. Hi How are you? good. how are you? good. thanks. bye. walk into building, there’s another security guard. Smile. wave. Hi . How are you? Great. Yourself? Good. thanks. walk through main doors of office. There’s the receptionist. Good morning. Good morning. How are you? Good. thanks. how are you? good. thanks.  walk to corridor towards desk. here’s a colleague. Hi Bob. Hi Jolin. How’s it going? Good. thanks. How about you? Doing good. thanks. (I’m exhausted by now. Smile cracking at corners) need coffee. There’s Joe and Sue in the kitchen. there’s no turning back now. Hi Jim. Sue. Hi. Morning. How are you? good. good. thanks. how ar eyou? good. good. thanks for asking.

 for crying out loud!

Who really cares to know anyway? NO ONE!!! No one reeeeally wants to know that you’re feeling crappy because you didn’t get enough sleep last night because the rain was so heavy and you haven’t fixed that leak in your roof and you were terrified all night that your ceiling would collapse on you in the middle of the night. No one REALLY wants to know.  SO WHY DO THEY BOTHER ASKING?!!!! argh!!! and if by chance someone DOES rant on about their life story after you ask them (you DID ask…) then you waste even MORE time listening to their boring stories (about some lame leaky roof. why couldn’t it just collapse on her and save you from this wretched story?) what a waste of time.

 Why can’t we just get along with a nod of the head when we pass each other in the hallway? Or even a simple good morning. good morning. exchange would be MORE than sufficient!

My new home

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home, originally uploaded by jolinjojobeans.

Of all the experiences I had through my little european holiday , the most startling part was the return home. yes. home.

There are many times when I realize my life has changed but there seldom is a defining moment.. however, this time this time I can literally pinpoint when it happened. The moment when something changed and I felt like “whoaa.. hey. This is now home”. very banal but it was at the last leg of my flight into Philadelphia when the air crew handed out arrival forms. I’ve filled out those white slips dozens of times over the past 5 years and it’s always been the same. This time though i found myself lingering over the box for “Country of Residence”. I’ve always put down ‘Malaysia’ without batting an eyelid but this time I was hesitant.

It wasn’t the fact that I pay rent here, or that I have bills in my name here or that I have a job in this country. I’ve had that for 5 years now, all that. It was something else that made me hesitate. I guess you could call it finally growing roots. Finally finding that maybe, yes, I belong here..or am finally begining to. That I’m finally not straddling two worlds, splitting myself between two places half the world apart and trying to negotiate them both for the short periods I am in either.

It felt good, no, GREAT to know that I was coming home to something here in Philly, that there were friends and familar faces I realized I was very excited to return to. There were those before too but I guess my heart could never leave Malaysia fully to embrace my life here. It always felt a strong loyalty and reluctance to let go of my life pre-Philly.

Now though I finally feel a strange sense of comfort, of content.. which I guess I relate to the idea of “home” here in Philly. I never thought I’d end up here… or feel settled here.. but yet, here I am.

Country of Residence: USA

And glad to be home.